“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14 (NIV)
I shared in a previous post that I used to ask myself over and over:
“Why wasn’t I good enough?”
Let’s talk about that, but first let’s talk about how I got here.
Losing Myself Trying to Be Good Enough
For most of my life, I changed who I was to fit into relationships and even close friendships.
I adapted my goals, dreams, even the foods I ate and the clothes I wore, to match those around me.
Have you ever done that?
It starts slowly: one choice, one compromise, one small change to “fit in.”
But over time, those small changes steal pieces of who you truly are.
Then one day, when the relationship ends or you finally stop to look in the mirror, you don’t even recognize the person staring back.
That was me.
When the Relationship Ends & You Feel Lost
During my (still ongoing) healing journey, I realized I didn’t know who I truly was or what I wanted for my life.
I felt lost, empty, and disconnected from everything that once made me feel alive.
While talking with a friend, I said,
“I don’t even know what I want anymore.”
She paused and then said,
“You remind me of the Runaway Bride.”
If you’ve seen that 1999 movie, you know the main character keeps leaving men at the altar because she gets scared. (I have never done that.)
She’d change everything, right down to how she liked her eggs, to please each man she dated, resulting in her having second thoughts and running away.
Her reason for running;
“I was walking down the aisle towards somebody that had no idea who I really was and it’s only half the other persons fault, because I had done everything to convince him that I was exactly what he wanted.” Maggie, the runaway bride.
That moment convicted me deeply.
I had become the same way: always blending in, always adjusting, until I lost sight of myself entirely. The relationship would have been a lie; I was not the person I was trying to be.
Remembering Who I Used to Be
I started to ask myself:
- Who was I before all this?
- What did I love doing?
- What were my real dreams?
- When did I feel closest to God?
- What truly makes me happy?
The answers hurt because I had drifted so far.
I wasn’t doing the things that brought me true happiness.
My prayer life had become silent.
My Bible gathered dust.
I wasn’t going to church, rarely saw my family, and I dressed and acted like someone I didn’t recognize. I even let a business I had been building for years slip away.
It’s painful to realize that small compromises—one by one—slowly took me away from who God created me to be.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2 (NIV)
The Enemy’s Subtle Lies
It felt harmless at first: a different outfit, a drink to feel relaxed, skipping prayer “just tonight.”
But little by little, I opened the door for the enemy to step in and rewrite my identity.
By the time I looked up, my priorities were gone, and so was my peace.
Some women in my life lovingly shared their concerns, noticing I wasn’t myself anymore.
They planted seeds of truth, but at the time, I wasn’t ready to listen.
🌺 Rediscovering I Am Good Enough
After heartbreak, shame tried to convince me:
“You weren’t good enough. That’s why it ended.”
But God whispered something better:
You are good enough, you are made in my image.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.” — Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV)
He doesn’t make mistakes.
We are good enough for the plans He has prepared, the friendships, the purpose, and even the love story He has written for us.
How I Started Healing & Finding Me Again
I prayed and asked God to show me who I am in Him, not in other people. Asking Him what my purpose is, what I am supposed to be doing, and for new direction.
I made lists: what I love, what brings me joy, the dreams I let go of too soon.
Slowly, I began to:
- Surrender the past, the old me
- Pray daily, multiple times
- Read God’s Word and let it speak to me
- Say “no” to things that feel wrong, even if it means being alone
- Clean out the past
- Rebuild a life that reflects who God says I am
- Regain focus to become who God says I am
It’s a journey, and it’s still unfolding, but for the first time in a long time, I love the woman I’m becoming.
You Are Enough Too
If you’re reading this and feel lost, remember:
- You are good enough
- You don’t have to become who someone else wants you to be
- God already knows and loves who you truly are
- His plans are greater than you can imagine
- You are never alone
“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me.” Psalm 138:8 (NIV)
A Prayer for You
Father,
I pray for each woman reading this today.
Meet her in her brokenness.
Show her the beauty you see in her.
Give her the strength to let go of who she isn’t and the courage to discover who she truly is in You.
Cover her life with Your love, grace, and fill her with joy.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Call to Action:
✨ Comment below:
“I am enough because God says so!”
In the Resources section, you’ll find a self-discovery worksheet to download to help you rediscover your true self and become the woman God intended. Then, to take your journey to the next level, there is also a My Faith & Life bucket list prompt worksheet to guide you in creating a new bucket list.
Download yours today on the resources page!
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